Reflections.....

For those of you who may not know, my sister-in-law, Allie gave birth to her son, Elliott, on June 12th (picture follows!). He is cute as can be, and Allie did an amazing job during labor! The newest addition is home, and, aside from jaundice, is doing quite well in his new home.

As we all anxiously waited for Elliot's arrival, I began to travel back in time and think about how I was feeling, and what I was thinking in the moments leading up to Billy's birth. I also began to think of all the things I wished someone had told me to be prepared for. I was good, and I waited until I was asked for advice before dispensing it (at least, I'm pretty sure I did). As I answer her questions, I keep thinking about how tough the first few weeks were, and I make sure to remember her and my two other friends who all had babies last week in my prayers (three babies, one week!). Being a mommy is wonderful and amazing - but it isn't easy, and it is an emotional roller coaster, especially at first. For me, last week really has made me reflect on those first weeks. Man - it is weird to look back.

I remember I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown for what seemed like forever, and even had a couple, thankfully with people there to help me through. I remember thinking "what is wrong with me??" as I couldn't seem to get the hang of nursing. I also snapped at Eric for every little thing, and he didn't deserve it. I think the problem was that I tried to be supermom - which is probably why I was constantly on the edge of tears for 3 weeks. As I thought of these things I realized the biggest problem was that I didn't ask for help. I just assumed I was supposed to do it all and tried to. OOPS. Thankfully, I had wonderful people come and help me who could tell that I couldn't do it all - and wouldn't take no for an answer.

I also remember being scared about everything to do with Billy. Terrified he was breathing too fast, not eating enough, sleeping too much, crying too much, not pooping enough, that I or someone else would somehow drop him, that his cry sounded too hoarse....the list goes on and on. Oh, if I'd only known then about the knots on his head from diving out of his crib, or falling out of the chair he was STANDING in - I am pretty sure I would've worried less about that stuff (and worried more about what would happen as he learned how to walk, climb, open doors, you know, the really scary things).

I am so thankful that I have such wonderful friends and family who were there to help me through and answer the questions when I FINALLY started asking them. I am also thankful that Eric asked me (about a zillion times) if I was okay and what he could do - because he knew I wasn't okay, and he knew that I wasn't going to ask for help (don't know why, just the way I'm built I guess).

I also realized something as I held little Elliott - babies are such a precious miracle and all that worrying, stress, and agonizing gets in the way of just enjoying them as newborns. Because, as I have very quickly learned, they seem to fast forward through each wonderful little stage and move on to the next one before you can blink - and if you worry too much you'll miss something amazing!

Now - some pictures - one of Elliott and a couple of Billy.....

Newest addition to the family - Elliott Arthur England - 7 lbs, 12 oz, 21 inches long!

Billy in his big boy bed - we got it the same day he took a nose dive out of the crib.

My little man enjoying a bounce house...he thought it was AWESOME.

Helping mommy do breakfast dishes....water is fun!